The Bully Slayer: Mommy bullies; let’s reconsider the clique

OPINION – In my previous and first article with St George News, I issued a request. I asked to hear about your experiences with bullying. I received several emails this week, and first want to thank you. This is a joint adventure, and you are the most important member.

The bullying scenario:

One of the emails I received is from a mom who is experiencing what she referred to as “mommy bullying.” She said she has lived in her Southern Utah neighborhood for nearly six months. She has a husband working against the ever-increasing tide of financial instability. Between them, they have an 8-year-old son. She has sought many times to take refuge in community and religious events.

But she has found her efforts have led to her being the butt of gossip on the football field sideline. She has found herself ostracized by her son’s room mom who coordinates volunteers; our concerned reader said has twice been assigned to a duty solitary from that of the other moms.

Now she fears this kind of exclusion is spreading to her son, as he was the only kid not invited to a neighbor’s birthday party.

Reconsidering the clique:

As adults we all understand that whenever we get together, ultimately there are going to be break-off groups. The soccer moms will band together, the football/cheerleading moms will huddle together. Often these cliques have been together since preschool, but I feel that is no excuse for bullying those outside of the group.

Before our cliques were formed, we were awkward, unsure of ourselves in a new social setting. But as luck would have it, we ran into others who felt the same, and a clique was born.

These one-time strangers have turned into our best barbecue buddies and Pinterest followers. We forget that at one time, they were strangers to us, they were new. It wasn’t until we opened up and tried to know them that they surpassed our hopes and re-pinned our favorite recipes.

I am not saying we all have to become best friends, I am just challenging and reminding us all that the next time a new neighbor moves in, or we see a mom in sweats and no makeup dropping her child off at school, or we see someone alone, outside of our chosen clique, we give them a shot – just like others once gave us. The new person might become a valued source of friendship, as that tide of financial instability or other life challenge grows even harder to ride.


Again, I am excited to team with St. George News on this column, and hope that you will share experiences, and or stories of bullying with us, so that we may learn and grow together, figuring out the best way to combat this epidemic!  Email me, “Like” me on Facebook, Tweet us.

Ed. Note: T.S. Romney is an opinion columnist and a law enforcement officer. Nothing in this column shall be construed as legal advice, as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, as an adjudication of claims, or as acting on behalf of any law enforcement department. T.S. Romney’s opinions and methods are his own and are not representative of St. George News.

Email The Bully Slayer: [email protected]

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Twitter: @STGnews

Copyright St. George News, LLC, 2012, all rights reserved.

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1 Comment

  • Jolie Montlick November 18, 2012 at 10:37 am

    Please check out my new Anti-Bullying Music Video that was just released. Unlike most of the videos out there, this one is positive and hopeful. It helps kids who are bullied to realize that they are not alone, and empowers kids to not be silent bystanders, and to be a friend to someone who is being bullied. “My Song for Taylor Swift” has gone viral and has been seen in 100+ countries in less than 4 weeks. If you like it, please pass it on to your friends so that it can help as many kids as possible. Here is the youtube link: The video recently premiered in Atlanta to a crowd of 10,000 people and has been used for community and school anti-bullying rallies to help motivate kids to take positive actions.

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